Sad.

I'm sad. Can't entirely explain why, but I am. Sad. Sad and happy.

Some words.

Some really honest words.

Some words that are far more honest than a lot of us would ever risk to be,

Some words that feed into my sadness

My life in these days is so boring and depressing. Wish had someone with me in these days. A guy that would cheers me up hold me, cuddly, would go places with me, would go travel around the world like some of my friends do and just be with me.

I know, water and food are basic human needs, but really, in the general scheme of things, can you think of a more basic human need?

Not my words. Words of someone I know, through some of the things I do. Words of someone, who in our supermodel work, isn't much to look at. Words, which, if spoken, would have come out hard to understand, as the mouth that would speak them would have trouble forming the words. A mind in a body that doesn't match. Someone who would hurt no one.

I think I could die in the desert, devoid of food and water, yet happy in the though that someone loves me, as opposed to fat, full and satisfied, but wondering if I had a friend.

Sad.

It leaves me sad. Why? Possible because the tragic irony, but more likely as I'm a bit pissed at myself. Pissed to all the times I've ever felt sorry for myself. I'm living in a great place, have all sorts of opportunity, so far have had great health. What more do I want?

A fantastic mate? A fabulous house.

Well, I've had the house, and as they say, easy come easy go. Mate. Well they are a bit harder to find, but my current girlfriend is golden. More than golden, she is great. I see it. Life's been pretty good to me. Very good. Too good, based on some of the other thoughts circling around my head these days.

So these words make me sad. Sad as I can feel them. As I understand them. I hope my friend finds them.

Sad but knowing I should be happy.

Ecstatic